Drivers, bc chauffeurs would be too much credit

Some things stay the same and will never change. Some things are reasonably constant, they may vary from time to time but nothing spectacular. Other things could be called normal, things happen within a certain norm which most of us have decided to be within the norm.
People operating vehicles in Bangkok fit none of the above mentions conditions. Motorbike taxis, busses, taxis and tuk-tuks are seemingly exclusively driven by the unpredictable. Now before anyone gets offended I would like to offer that in my experiences over the last year there have been exceptions but those were few and far in between.

Let us start with the tuk-tuk drivers, this has been a mode of transportation I try to avoid at the best of times. Outside of all the usual drawbacks of it (breathing in exhaust fumes, loud, no view, no shelter from the elements) , the drivers never seems to be able to driver you anywhere without “just one stop” along the way. There’s also a whole special set of traffic rules for this lot and these seem to be open to various interpretations, which can make the decisions of your driver seem erratic. But then again you are in Thailand and tuk-tuks are for Thailand what the gondola is for Venice, it has to be experienced.

Taxi drivers are probably your best bet to get a somewhat normal driver. These fellows usually tend to be a bit more careful with the car they’re driving in and are more concerned with not scratching it. Biggest problem with the taxi drivers is that they never want to go where I want to go and quite often mistake my pale skin for a fresh of the plane tourist and therefor think me susceptible to the fixed-rate-scam. The unwillingness to drive me where I want to go has usually to do with bad traffic which they predict along the way (here in they are often mistaken) or with simply the unwillingness to go to my apparently too far away destination. The fixed-rate-scam works by simply quoting a price to your destination which is a substantially more than the meter-price would be. By (new) law they have to turn on the meter, but hey it’s Thailand … So screw those taxis, although … they are heavenly air-conditioned.

Upon speaking to many locals about motorcycle taxis they will always tell you to stay away from them. Other than the facts that these guys are the local mafia they are not exactly known for providing the safest passage between point A and B. Yes, they overcharge everyone (okay, foreigners a bit more). Yes, they are reckless. Yes, there is no shelter from the elements. And yes, you are far more like to … in any crash than with any other mode of transportation, but I sort of hold a special place for these guys in my heart. You can’t compete with the motorcycle taxis ability to get you where you need to go fast (I am obviously speaking within the city).
In order to get to my work I had to take motorcycle on two separate legs of the journey. Now one of the reasons many people avoid the bikes is because the drivers are maniacs with little respect for the traffic rules and other traffic. Some might say that the drivers must have a dead wish the way they’re driving. Precisely because of this I enjoy them, on each ride I could expect one close call, which gave me a nice adrenaline shot which substituted my first cup of coffee. A second close call on the same trip did usually make my heart skip a beat since I was now fully awake to appreciate the danger, but that’s a different story altogether.
On my second bike ride, I became to prefer a specific driver, where most drivers where lunatics this guy topped the cake and was stark raving mad, but man did he get me to my work quick.

The last group of drivers are my inspiration for writing todays blog. With all the previous drivers you expect nutters, they only have the responsibilities over a few souls in their vehicle. One would hope when you drive a bus containing many passengers including the elderly and handicapped, you would adopt a reasonable driving style. It would be wrong to tell you that every ride has been a nightmare but far too many have been. I hope they reserve a special place in hell for the drivers that are convinced they should drive their bus as they would a race car. I have seen senior citizens tumbling over on another when the driver accelerated and stopped (or should I say when the driver launched and slammed on the brakes), now I would have given up my seat but …. (just kidding).
Today I had another one of these idiots driving me to my destination, luckily the fare-collection-lady got catapulted on one of his actions and gave the driver a deserved scolding. To give you an idea about how these guys driver picture the following. Getting on and off the bus has to be done in hurry. Getting off the bus has to start mid brake sequence, getting on the bus has to be done mid accelerate sequence. When you’re in the bus, the driver will put the pedal to the metal so you have to find a seat or somewhere to stand while fighting to stay on your feat. When you are at your most uncomfortable someone will come by to collect the fare. Any bend in the road has to be taken at break-neck speed to ensure everyone will bump into one another and the people seated won’t be doing so in comfort. Having said all this though, the busses are ridiculously cheap, so hey, what are you going to do? Right, you take the damned bus.

Best thing by a long shot is either taking the skytrain or the subway, they’re cheap, safe, refrigerated and reliant. If only there were more of those and they would run 24/7.

Just thought I'd share some of my thoughts with you.

Have a great day and drive respectfully!